Èññà - íàøå âñ¸
Jan. 26th, 2002 09:01 amÍó ÷òî æ, êòî-íèáóäü íàáåðåòñÿ ñìåëîñòè ïåðåâåñòè ñëåäóþùåå ?
Just below the pissing,
Drip, drip, drip, -
Iris flowers !
Êîììåíòàðèé Áëàéñà:
This is one of the best haiku ever written. It has everything in it. It overflows, overflowers.
Îðèãèíàë (÷òîáû íå áûëî ðàçíî÷òåíèé):
Shoben no
tara-tara
Shita ya kakitsubata
shoben - ìî÷à
no - ñóôôèêñ ïðèíàäëåæíîñòè, ò.å. "òàðà-òàðà ìî÷è"
shita - âíèçó, ïîä
Ïåðâàÿ ïîïûòêà
Date: 2002-01-27 01:17 am (UTC)Ïîä ñòðó¸é ìî÷è,
È - ðè - ñû.
Ïðàâäà õî÷åòñÿ ðèôìû, è áëèæå ê ñìûñëó.
Re: Ïåðâàÿ ïîïûòêà
Date: 2002-01-27 02:20 am (UTC)Èíòåðåñíàÿ èäåÿ, êîíå÷íî, ñîâìåñòèòü â îäíîì ñëîâå è öâåòû, è çâóêîïîäðàæàíèå, íî - êàê ïðàâèëüíî çàìå÷åíî - õî÷åòñÿ áëèæå ê ñìûñëó.
Íó-êà, êàê ëó÷øå ïåðåäàòü "òàðà-òàðà" ?
Ìóçûêîé íàâåÿëî
Ó ìåíÿ ãîëóáàÿ ìî÷à,
Äà è âåñü ÿ ñîâñåì ãîëóáîé,
Îòòîãî ÿ ñ÷àñòëèâûé òàêîé.
 òî÷íîñòè öèòèðîâàíèÿ íå óâåðåí.
Re: Ìóçûêîé íàâåÿëî
Date: 2002-01-27 03:11 am (UTC)Re: Ìóçûêîé íàâåÿëî
Date: 2002-01-27 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-01-27 05:16 pm (UTC)âíèç-âíèç,
Íà öâåòîê èðèñ.