Òóðíèðíîå õàéêó íîìåð 4 (something special)

[catpad]

Ýòî õàéêó ÿ óæå êàê-òî ïðèâîäèë. Ïðèøëî âðåìÿ äàòü åãî äëÿ ïåðåâîäà. Ïîíèìàþ, ÷òî áóäåò òÿæåëî, íî óæàñíî èíòåðåñíî, ÷òî ïîëó÷èòñÿ.

Èññà.

Îðèãèíàë

Shoben no
tara-tara shita ya
kakitsubata

Ïåðåâîä ñëîâ

shoben - ìî÷à
no - ñóôôèêñ ïðèíàäëåæíîñòè, ò.å. "òàðà-òàðà ìî÷è"
tara-tara - çâóêîïîäðàæàíèå (êàï-êàï).
shita - âíèçó, ïîä
ya - ñì. íîìåð 2.
kakitsubata - öâåòû èðèñà.

Ïåðåâîä Áëàéñà:

Just below the pissing,
Drip, drip, drip, -
Iris flowers !

Êîììåíòàðèé Áëàéñà:

This is one of the best haiku ever written. It has everything in it. It overflows, overflowers.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

×òî æå áóäåò â äåñÿòîì òóðå?...

 óæàñå -
Êóðîé

[catpad.livejournal.com]

Íå áîéòåñü, ýòî ïðîñòî êðàòêèé ýêñïåðèìåíò ! ß óæå ñëåäóþùåå íàøåë ñïåöèàëüíî äëÿ ðåëàêñàöèè.
Íî ýêñïåðèìåíò íàäî âñå-òàêè ïðîâåñòè äîñòîéíî, à òî ÿ òóò óæå ñëûøàë ñóæäåíèå, ÷òî òîëüêî îäèí èç ó÷àñòíèêîâ "ñìîæåò ïîìî÷èòüñÿ íà èðèñû" :)